


Drops of Jupiter

by its_too_cliche_24



Series: Song Fics [2]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Pining, Post-Ascension, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-24 18:46:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18168749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/its_too_cliche_24/pseuds/its_too_cliche_24
Summary: "Did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?"Daniel's back, and Jack has to face his feelings.





	Drops of Jupiter

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own the song or the characters, just the fic.

He was back. He was really back. Jack could actually reach over and touch him and _feel_ something. Feel the living, breathing proof that he wasn't just a hallucination. One of his many, many hallucinations.

But everything was different now. Daniel didn't even remember who he was, let alone Jack. The skepticism and coldness in his eyes when they found him sliced right through Jack and left him feeling numb.

But he was back.

And he probably wouldn't appreciate Jack reaching across the table to double check.

When they got back from that planet, that god forsaken planet, Jack couldn't even hold him. Couldn't even form the words to say what he really wanted to say. God, he sucked at goodbyes. Up until that very last second, up until Daniel pulled him aside and _begged_ for Jack to be the one to let him go, he honestly thought they'd make a last minute recovery. A last minute victory to show the world that SG1 would always come through, no matter what it threw at them. That Daniel would come through. But he didn't, and Jack had to be the one to let him go. That was the hardest decision he'd ever made.

Of course Carter blamed him for awhile. Couldn't even look at him. She was a lot like Jack, hoping for some miracle to happen at the last second. He didn't blame her one bit for hating him, even though she hadn’t seen the look in Daniel’s eyes. She hadn't seen Daniel's hopeful, shining face. His teary eyed, heartfelt speech. No, Daniel hadn't asked her, he’d asked him. And that would've been the perfect opportunity to say something, anything. A quick "by the way, I love you". But Jack couldn’t form the words in time.

"Can I help you, Jim?"

Daniel's voice brought him back to reality, and he realized he'd been zoning out while staring at him. That wasn't awkward at all.

"Jack," Sam corrected him softly, a tenderness in her eyes.

He cringed, upset with himself for not remembering. Of course it wasn't his fault, it’s not like he enjoyed having a blank slate. That damn Oma was the one to blame. Yeah, he should be thanking her for saving Daniel and returning him, but sheesh could she have made it any harder? He understood wiping Daniel's memory from his soul vacation, but his _entire_ memory? That was just plain cruel. Watching Daniel struggle everyday for memories that should be _right there_ at his disposal, well, it was torture.

At the same time, Jack had to admit Daniel seemed... happier. Like he'd been reborn. In a sense, he had. It was like that first trip through the Stargate, he was Jack's geeky little spacemonkey again. They weren’t in the best of places before Daniel..."ascended". Jack tried to cope with his feelings, and his “coping” meant instead pushing Daniel away. So far away that by time he realized what he was doing, it was too late. Maybe forgetting everything he'd been through, forgetting Jack, had been good for him.

But everything was different now. He was _back_. Maybe, just maybe, Jack would be able to tell him how he felt.

He also realized he hadn't answered Daniel.

"You sure you don’t remember anything?" Jack squinted at him.

Yep, that was exactly what he wanted to say.

Daniel's forehead scrunched as he squeezed his eyes shut, trying in vain to remember. A twinge of guilt coursed through Jack. It looked like Daniel was in physical pain grappling with memories that wouldn’t cooperate.

"Things come and go, but I can't… I can’t retain anything. Yet, I hope."

Jack let out a disappointed sigh. It’d only been a couple days, and Doc Frasier said he'd need time. Lots of it. That he might never get those ascended memories back. Which Jack was fine with, he had to be. But that didn't mean he didn't have questions he wanted to ask.

What was it all like? What did he do?

Was it all worth it?

Did he find out that ascension is overrated?

Did he ever miss Jack while he was looking for himself out there?

No.

He just...well, really he could answer the last two himself.

He didn’t need Daniel to tell him what he already knew.

When he was stuck in Ba’al's torture chamber and got a visit from the Dan-cam, he knew Daniel was having a blast up there. He was practically glowing. And no, he wasn’t talking about the glow that came free of charge with the ascension package. The only thing that did bother Daniel was that he couldn’t help, and it ended up being his downfall. Damn Ancients and their backwards rules. This is why he and ascension didn’t click, despite what Mr. Enlightenment thought. If they hadn’t met under such dire circumstances, Jack was sure Daniel would look happy. Like he did right now.

Maybe it was better for Daniel if he couldn’t retain any memories. That way he wouldn’t remember Jack or the way he treated him. When they met Daniel was happy, on Abydos Daniel was happy, now...Daniel was happy. The only thing those three had in common was it took Jack out of the equation. All selfish feelings aside, it should stay like that.

“Are you okay?” Daniel asked, concern wrinkling his flawless face.

Everyone at the table had their eyes on him. Apparently Daniel could still read Jack’s body language better than anyone else, even if he couldn’t remember his name.

“Just peachy,” He forced a smile to his face.

Nevertheless, Daniel still looked unconvinced. What the hell did he think he knew? Anger bubbled in Jack’s chest. Unless he wanted to say something he’d regret later on, he had to scram.

“Let’s face it, this briefing isn’t that important. Meeting adjourned,” Jack faked an attempt at humor, though he really wasn’t feeling it.

They let him go without saying anything.

Later that night, Jack set up shop on the surface. The cool night breeze brushed across his hot skin, filling his lungs with some much needed fresh air. It could get unbearably stuffy down there. With the cover of darkness he felt protected, from his feelings, his thoughts. His thoughts which revolved around Daniel, which he found spectacularly helpful. There wasn’t a single cloud in sight, and the stars were shining like beacons. A perfect night. The kind of night Daniel would enjoy.

Looked like he was stuck with his Daniel centered thoughts.

“They told me I could find you here.”

Ah, perfect.

Jack looked over his shoulder to see Daniel standing there, hands shoved in his pockets.

Sadly, this Daniel probably wasn’t a figment of his imagination. He wanted to laugh, or maybe even cry. A year of not wanting the hallucinations and here he was, wanting one more than anything. Funny how life liked screwing with him.

“Looks like they were right,” Jack remarked, looking back up at the stars.

He heard Daniel take a couple steps forward, stopping when he was right next to Jack. Close enough that Jack could practically feel him.

Close enough that if he let his hand move an inch...

He folded his arms across his chest.

“Are we… are we okay?”

The question hung in the air. Open. Vulnerable. They were silent for a beat.

“Why wouldn’t we be?”

Band-aid answer, and they both knew it. Maybe if he’d responded quicker… Now he had to prepare for a classic Daniel debate.

But it never came. Instead, Daniel was silent. Jack snuck a glance in his direction, and saw him gazing up at the stars. A soft smile on his face. Maybe he wasn’t even paying attention. No, this was Daniel. Even if he lacked a memory, he was way too smart for his own good.

“Did you miss coffee?”

This, this caught Daniel’s attention. He turned, with an amused but confused expression. Immediately, Jack wanted to stick his foot in his mouth. Where did that come from?

“Did I miss...coffee?”

Jack shrugged, looking back at the sky. Does Oma accept prayers? Maybe if he prayed hard enough she’d erase this conversation out of Daniel’s mind.

“I mean...maybe. I’m not sure I had much need for it, but there’s definitely something comforting about a warm drink in the morning. Maybe it has more to do with the psychological aspect and the connotations I have...or, had with it.”

Honestly he thought he’d die before he saw the day where Daniel’s rambling, long winded answers were a welcome novelty And he didn’t fight the smile he felt creep up on his face.

Silence filled the space between them again. Not that it was too strange, they used to hang out in a comfortable silence a lot before. Okay, not a _lot_ , but… No, just not a lot. Daniel was too much of a talker for that. But lately, he didn’t talk so much, and his silences were heavy. Like he was listening without even talking.

Maybe Oma let him keep some of his wibbly wobbly timey wimey powers in exchange for his memories.

No, Daniel was...different now.

“I just, I wanted to apologize.”

There was silence. Daniel’s gaze still fixated on the constellations, but Jack knew he had all his attention.

“You probably don’t remember, but, before you ascended, I was...well, for lack of better words, a pain in the ass.” Jack’s gaze lingered on Daniel as he turned his attention to Jack.

“Doc Frasier says you should get your memories back sooner than later, and before you get the...unpleasant ones back, I just wanted to tell you…”

Jack trailed off, words suddenly lodged in his throat. What _was_ he trying to say, exactly? Was he going to confess his undying love for a man who thought his name was Jim O'Reilly? Yeah, that seemed like a solid plan.

Now would be a great time for Daniel to fill the silence, but of course he didn’t. Even if Oma didn’t leave him with any of his “powers”, he still had that ancient-y tranquil demeanor. Hopefully that’d wear off.

“Honestly I don’t know what I’m trying to say,” Jack muttered, scrubbing a hand across his face.

Still nothing from the peanut gallery.

“I missed coffee,” Daniel said softly.

Squinting, Jack looked over at Daniel. His eyes were still as blue as they were before.

“When you guys picked me up and we had our first debriefing, Sam made me a cup of coffee - just the way I liked it. As soon as I took a drink - I remembered all the good times I’ve had here. I mean, not all of them, but enough.” He wrapped his arms around himself to fight off a sudden chill. Whether it came from outside or inside, Jack didn’t know.

Enough. What did _enough_ mean?

“I remembered the team, you, Sam, Teal’c. Yeah maybe I still mess up on your names, but I remember _you_.”

His eyes searched Jack’s face, as if all the answers to his questions were there.

“I may not remember my what happened while I was ascended, but I know something’s missing. There’s a gap, an an emptiness I can feel.”

Taking a step closer, he reached out and gently grasped Jack’s hands.

“You’re it. You’re what I’m missing. And I know I missed it while I was up there but it started long before then.”

Oh.

_Oh._

Okay.

Jack released a shaky breath, he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding it in.

Daniel’s hands were warm intertwined with his. He could feel him.

“You’re really here,” Jack marveled, finally believing it. It wasn’t all some elaborate hoax, Daniel was really here. With him.

A soft smile spread across Daniel’s face, and he stepped into Jack’s embrace. Jack wrapped his arms around him, crushing Daniel against him.

“I’m here,” Daniel promised, “and I’m done. I’m staying.”

Nothing so perfect has ever come out of Daniel’s mouth.

**Author's Note:**

> The first time I heard this song after Stargate completely uprooted my life, I realized how well it fits Jack and Daniel. It's rare for me to find a song where every line seems to work, but it really does for this one. Now it ranks as one of my favorite themes for them!


End file.
